On The Flip Side

So I went to the plastic surgeon’s office once more, trying my best not to have horse face the entire time.  I mean, I’m not dying.  I’m incredibly lucky.  That being said, 14 or so surgeries (I’ve lost count) in 5 years and all the down time feeling useless and unproductive wears on you.  I’m just over it.

I was able to get the implant flipped back about 80%.  Dr said he didn’t want to open me up just to literally flip it over with one finger, and felt that I had a good chance of getting it completely corrected myself.  So I went home, having canceled surgery, thinking I would get this shit done.

Fast forward a few weeks and I hadn’t gained any more ground.  I woke up this morning and the implant was completely flipped over again.

What.  The.  Fuck.

I just can’t express how I feel about this.  I was told that there were no guarantees that once corrected, the implant wouldn’t simply flip over again.  That even if they managed to tighten up the pocket or perhaps put in a larger implant, it could still happen anyway.  And if I go through another surgery, 6-8 weeks of restrictions, sleeping in compression bras and trying not to sleep on my side ever again in my life (riiiiiiight) and it happens again, I’m absolutely going to lose my shit.  I’m just over it to the millionth degree.

I’m afraid I’m going to have to accept it and move on.  I don’t think there is another answer for me.  I need to be thankful I don’t have cancer, that I can fill out a bra, look fairly normal in a bathing suit top.  I have to learn to be happy with that.  I mean, when do you just raise the white flag and say enough is enough?

 

 

 

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