Hangin’ In There

Only a few days to go until my next appointment with the plastic surgeon and I am hoping I will find out when I will be having the expanders put back in again.  The skin has settled and I can feel it “hanging” a little more, as it is not as puffy as it was following surgery.  The bruising is pretty well all gone and the drain holes have healed.

I’ve tried to keep my activity to a minimum.  We have, however, resumed our sex life.  One thing I have not experienced–and I’m sure many women are concerned about after this type of experience– is a lack of desire from my husband.  He has continued telling me I am beautiful; has been very attentive and flirtatious.  He does not seem to care that my breasts are missing.  I am sure he’ll enjoy the new ones, lol, but he has been rather pleased with the weight gain in my posterior.  😉  Thank goodness he likes a fluffy woman.

We are pretty active normally so it’s been difficult abstaining.  We’ve been worried about jiggling or hurting the skin, but have tried to be careful.  I think we may have gotten a little carried away last night so I am trying to remain pretty still today.  The hubs took the kids to see a movie and I am trying to just sit still.  It is so hard for me; this whole not doing much thing.  It has been extremely difficult having everyone taking up the slack for me when I feel like I can do these things.  I just keep telling myself that it’ll all be over one day and I’ll get back to my hectic life.  

I was told I could shower after the drain holes closed but the skin is wrinkly and tucked inward and I am afraid of having water getting trapped in there.  I’m really not keen on touching it and trying to dry it.  It’s uncomfortable enough to look at.  I have still been doing the sponge baths.  Shaving isn’t as regular as I would like, though.  I haven’t been wearing make-up and my skin has cleared quite a bit.  I’ve been wearing nothing but tank tops and yesterday when I put on a sleeved t-shirt I thought I would go nuts.  I felt like I was choking.  I think at the end of all this I’d like to go somewhere where I don’t have to wear anything.  I can’t seem to find anything that’s comfortable and flattering at the same time.  I’ve gained weight, I’m not feeling very pretty lately.  I am SO looking forward to my next surgery.  I miss breasts so much.
I am surprised at how tired I am.  I am not someone who has ever been able to take naps.  Even though I have dealt with fatigue, I am just not a napper.  Since surgery I am so sleepy.  Some days I can’t seem to get a nap, but more often than not, I’ve been sleeping at least a few hours during the day.  Yesterday I was so tired I couldn’t focus on anything.  I know my body is healing and working hard, but I’m a few weeks out from my last procedure.  I just can’t believe how tired I feel and figured I’d not be like that at this point.  
I did manage to get my nails done last weekend.  YES!  That helps me immensely.  Now I need to color my hair.  I need a trim badly but my hairdresser is going through chemo right now, bless her heart.  I can’t bring myself to have anyone else touch my hair.  She’s that good.  I often color my hair myself but I’ve no idea how that’ll work since having the expanders removed.  I’ve not been able to find my particular shade of red, either, so I need to locate the color before my roots grow out much more.
I am awaiting word on a litter of Corso puppies that was due today.  I am determined to be healed enough to take a pup (I have a deposit on a show girl–if she has what I want) and to get Rama back in the ring.  I have no doubt if I hadn’t been sidelined with this medical stuff she’d be finished by now.  She’s gorgeous and is maturing nicely.  I can’t wait until I am able to get back out there with the dogs.  I miss it.
I also miss picking up my little one.  By the time I’m able to safely do so, she’ll be almost too big to pick up.  😦  The little one’s birthday is approaching.  I can’t believe my baby is preschool age.  
Well, that’s pretty much all that’s been going on here.  Trying to deal with taking it easy and anxiously awaiting word of my next surgery.  I will write more on Tuesday when I get back from the doctor’s office.  I hope I hear good news.  

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