Waiting…

So I’m waiting.  Waiting for my next dr appointment, waiting for the fluid to stop draining, waiting to lose my mind because I’m so terribly bored.   I know I should be thankful–and I am–that I have someone here to help, that I don’t have cancer, but dang it all I am BORED.  If this fluid drainage doesn’t stop, I am imagining the dr will want to take out the expanders.  The thought of going that far backward is so incredibly depressing; looking down at my chest and seeing it all shriveled up again and going through the incredibly painful healing period all over again for three months seems like emotional agony to me right now.  I miss being able to do what I could do before.  I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep these expanders right where they are.

The first picture here is one I took about two weeks ago.  The redness underneath seems much improved to me.  It appears more like bruising now.  I haven’t yet taken another picture of the wound itself, but it has improved also and IS draining less, so that is progress and I am trying to remain positive about it.


Front view about 2 weeks ago
5 days ago left breast
5 days ago right breast

Front view of breasts from today

Underneath view of breasts and red spots

 Tomorrow I go back to the plastic surgeon’s office.  I hope they see continued improvement.  I don’t know how long they will let it go on like this.  I am hoping because it is draining less and less that maybe we can let it go and perhaps it will clear up on its own.  I will be done with my antibiotics tomorrow.  I am a bit scared of what happens after that.  Do we wait and see?  Do we immediately put me on another antibiotic?  Do we stop everything and look at surgical intervention?    I hope I have a clearer picture tomorrow.  Expansions and getting my implants seem so far away now.

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